Revelations..

Have you ever learned things that have a profound impact on your life?  That happened to me this past weekend as I learned some things about people I have known for a considerable amount of time.  Life altering information... not for them but for me.  The fact that this has been hidden from me for so long was irrelevant... what was profound is that this information has helped me to make some important decisions about me and my life.

I have been dating since August 16 and I have had an immense amount of fun.  I was thinking I was done and I should reduce the amount of "hoeness" (my own new word) that was happening life and maybe seek to find someone for a LTR.  Nope! I learned this weekend that I am not ready for that.

If I happen to find someone and they are on the same page as I am in terms of my lifestyle - great!  If not - a LTR will have to wait a bit longer as I seek to explore and have some fun.

I have decided to try some things out and test my limits.  I want to keep exploring and have some good old fashioned BDSM fun.  I have created an adult bucket list if you will and I am seeking to fulfill it.   Not that it was ever taboo, but somehow this revelation I learned from my friends has created a second awakening of sorts and I am super excited about it.

I urge you to remember that life is short. Do not wait to fulfill your buckets lists or fantasies.  The time for you is here and now!

Here is to the unknown future. I am large and in charge.

Scarlet...   

Me and My Big Fancy Degree...

One surefire way to get yourself blocked is to spout off in a text about how you would not live up to my standards and my "big fancy degree".  WTF!  Did I ever mention that I am better than you because I own my own business? NO!  Have a masters degree? No!  Own my own house? No!

I never once degraded you or made you feel less than me - and we had not even met.  YOU were the one who said these things and said would you even date someone with a learning disability plus you said you had one friend.  WOW!

Go get some self confidence and good luck out there.  I am thankful I found out before we met and/or slept together that you are one big sad red flag waiting to happen.

I am way less judgmental than my friends and / or family when it comes to looks or your job, your status, etc...    You fucked it all up when you could not handle that I had to work tonight instead of giving you (whom I had not met yet) my undivided attention when I  had told you that I am a busy mom that is getting caught up before a busy weekend and the holidays.  I told you we could not meet for 2 weeks.  You said you were patient and then quickly changed your tune and outlook on yourself.

When I said that what I did not like was the lack of self confidence/self-esteem (my opinion/observation) and that I did not say anything about your job, education, status  - you did - but you proceeded to tell me that you did not need a lecture and said "let me bow to your perfection".  DUDE you have ISSUES!

WARNING WARNING - and Block.  Next.....

Lemonade out of Lemons... (Sugarfree!)

Last night I made Lemonade out of Lemons...   Sugarfree at that*!  I had a first date scheduled and apparently I was stood up.  The good part of it was that I had not even left my house yet... the bad part is that he owned a boat and I was really hoping to get to know him and get a few dates out of it!  I blocked him so that is not happening.

I had been face timing with him and chatting/texting with him a few times over the past few days.  All was good... or so I thought.  We spoke around 5 and he was starting to work on something for his boat...  I had told him I could meet him around 7:30 halfway between us.  At 7 he was still working on his boat... so I told him no worries. He told me he would text me when he was done.  Fast forward to 8 pm ish and I had not heard from him.  I texted asking if he was done/are we still meeting. He read this around 8:15 and started to reply as I could see the ... and then they disappeared!  Nice job Casper... No wonder you said you can't find anyone... So I wrote back and said I guess I am being stood up which is a shame as I had chosen him over two other offers!  (One I switched to a different day/time and the other offer came a few hours before I was stood up). 

Mind you - I was lying on the sofa, make-up all done, chilling out watching Flea Bag and thoroughly enjoying relaxing but still... I was ditched.  I was ditched and horny!  Yup, I said it.  Flea Bag is such an amazing show but it was getting hot and steamy and I was in need.  

Time to make Lemons... I texted my newer FWB/FF... and he happened on a rare Fri night not to be busy.  (He has a hobby that usually keeps him busy on most Friday nights).  I was totally willing to make the drive but he was amazing and drove to me.  I sprang into action to get the bedroom ready (I usually do not make my bed) and get into something way more comfortable.  30 minutes later the main ingredient needed to make lemonade appeared.    We did not waste time making a ton of Lemonade.... sugar free*.  (I found out he had been sitting watching TV wondering what I was doing)

*So why Sugar Free?  Simple... Sugar is something you get addicted to... he is not available for me to get addicted to right now.  He is not ready for a committed relationship.  We actually had that talk and if at some point he is, I do like him and would like to explore it if I am available to do so at the time.  If not...  I am taking him for what he is worth...  a seriously amazing FWB/FF that I am so comfortable with talking to or making Lemonade with.  

Three hours later... all of the lemons had been squeezed.

*****

In other news......

...  The guy I was supposed to have a date with on Wed night cancelled on me again - strike 2.  First time he had to work and do a last minute proposal.  We spoke on the phone on his breaks - all good.  This past Wednesday he had a "family emergency".  I heard from him Thursday saying he still wanted to see / meet me. I replied "ok" (but not really ok) and I have yet to hear from him. Sad about this one as he was pretty handsome and we really had a lot of laughs on the phone.  NEXT!

...  SQUIRREL!   On my phone when I click on the blog link...  it shows as wtfddchro...gspot.com which is hillarious!  G spots are SO very important.

...  I had a coffee date with someone that found me on facebook (not the dating portion) which by the way blows...and not in the good way.  FB dating section needs WAY more info so we can be more selective and not have to ask a million questions of someone.  Back to the coffee..  He was nice and a gentleman...
(You know there is a BUTTTTT in here... he is so loud/abrasive/New Yorker). 
We will see as I have agreed to spend a little more time getting to know him, BUTTTTT I feel I will be trying to change him and shush him.  So if I do need to say goodbye to him (which I can see coming) I will let him know that I am not looking to change someone and I want him to quiet down more than he is capable of. LOL!  We shall see- I am giving him another date on Sunday afternoon.

... I have a date this afternoon with someone on the surface I really like. He is not my type (if I have one) but from our conversations.. I am intrigued.  We are meeting at a location TBD and apparently playing a tile game! So very funny!  Lets see how this goes.

... I have another date Sunday am for breakfast with someone I do not know all that well.  Should be interesting.

...I have been in conversation with someone that I am a bit wary of as he is from England.  He is here for work and goes back soon and is supposedly moving here with his two boys.  He is sweet but I am pretty distrusting of those with an accent from England/Europe/Denmark, etc.. based on the scammer from Denmark. (No worries... I am too smart for that).

Lots of action and several that have gone by the wayside.  I would love to find someone to be in a LTR with at some pt, esp with holidays approaching; however, I am just going to lessen my need to make lemonade with so many, enjoy my dates and maybe start to be a little more selective at some pt soon.  We will see.  

For now I am large and in charge with eyes wide open!

P.S.  I think I am in the mood for a tall glass of water with a side of Lemon!

Things that make you go hmmmmm

I have not written in a while as I have been busy with my child...   not to much happening on the dating front, except for this:

The guy I had met and been with the night after we had a 2 hr meeting/date at a park... I felt he was not really into me since he had been sick. I called him on it and questioned if he was still interested.  It was all I could do to keep from laughing louder than the chuckle I did... he blamed me for getting him sick.  He blamed us "fooling around" for him getting sick! BAHAHAHAAHA
He works in a "hospital" and he "never" gets sick.  Soooo funny!  I was not sick.  I was fine.  Soooo funny. I told him it was ridiculous but thanks for telling me via phone and not on a text.  Is he serious?  I am really not at all sad about this as he was not right for me.... his kissing was awful (his tongue never left the inside of my mouth) and his package was waaaaay too small for me.  I just cant help but thinking how funny that either he really does think I am to blame (I think he was so serious) or he is using this as an excuse (less likely given other factors).  I just can't!  

Someone I had chatted with from another site (site for those that are larger) decided that I was not "large" enough for him.  He ultimately had told me that it would not work out as I was not uninhibited enough for him and more or less not big enough for him.  Also a ROFL moment.  He then hopped a flight and messaged me at 11 pm Sat night telling me he wanted me to come to Miami so he could bang me!  ROFL x 2! Flattering or down right scary?   He sent me pics of the last person he was with and told me that was was way hotter.  When I say pics of her - let me tell you that it was her and her vagina in all it's glory! WTF!  When I said no - the next night he sent me a pic of some hoe he picked up with white hair sucking him off and how they wanted me to join them! 
I am not joking here.  ROFL and WTF combined into one big ass HELL NO from me!  That is an STD waiting to happen right there.  And  in case you are wondering - I am totally hotter than any of the women he has sent me pics of.

And then there is young Latin guy that keeps asking me for booty pics.  Nope. No.  Hard No.

In positive news... I ordered a new vibrator.  She is something pretty special with 10 different speeds for inside and 10 levels of suction. My review is stellar.

Finally - I have to tell you to go watch Flea Bag on Amazon Prime. I was told to watch it and OMG - I am in love I have only watched 2 episodes but I am hooked!  She is my hero...Her and Madge the Vag!

I have a few men I am meeting this week and maybe weekend... so I am sure there will be a lot more to blog.  I am Large and In Charge.  

Hey Baby... Hey Sweetie....

I am NOT your baby or your sweetie or your boo.  On one of the sites I chatted with one of the guys asked for my cell. He wanted to text.  That is cool.  He called (did not text) but the first thing he said was "Hey baby, how are you doing?" and I retorted with a laugh, "I am not your baby."  Click.  He hung up! LOL    Men or rather boys in this case, do not like being told to not call us baby or boo or sweetie or dear (that is the worst).  I quickly blocked him.  

Until you know me and until we are something, I am NOT your baby!  Next...

Will power is overrated

This has been a most interesting week and a half.   The ghoster tried once again to get me to change my mind...  he did not succeed.  This was probably the only will power that was exerted this week in any capacity that resembles success.   

I did manage to meet someone at a park.  This was to make sure that I indeed exerted a modicum of control.  We mostly talked with a few sessions of sucking face.  Let me refrain that...  I was trying to kiss and he was pretty much not allowing me to breathe! LOL  That aside... I had to leave to get back to work after 2 1/2 hours!  I agreed to give him a massage late the next night but insisted that I had to behave.  He told me he would make sure of it.  I could trust him since I did not trust myself.  *sigh*  I held out until 1 am and after discussion of life being too short happened (this always gets me).  I clearly had no right to trust myself and apparently not him!  The kissing needs to be worked on but I can totally say that he is not a selfish person.  We had some intense sessions looking into one another's eyes.  We were supposed to have a date during the weekend but he ended up getting sick, which cleared the way for some serious fun.

I will skip the details of my Friday night date; however, I will say that being a chivalrous gentleman is amazing, except when it borders on oppressive and when you are selfish in bed. I love that a man wants to hold the door open for me, pull out my chair, open my car door, etc... but for the love of humanity, please allow me to open the car door and get out if I want to.  I am not one to sit and wait for the man to come around to open my car door when I am perfectly capable of opening the car and standing up.  As far as being selfish in bed...   things cannot always be equal but that is for a long term situation.  If you ever want to see the side of a second date, be kind and remember that being chivalrous also means allowing the woman to have her own pleasures that do not have anything to do with you.

I also will skip any details of Sat except to say that the person I was with has become a FWB for right now.  He had crazy mads skills at popping up multiple times during the night as well as crazy mad oral skills.  Many hours later....most comfortable fun I have had in a long time.  Not only that, but my knees and back allowed me to do positions that I love.  I am not really into vanilla man  on top sex and hope that anyone reading this is not either.  Some of the other positions are just way more intense.  

Today I had to visit his work as he is doing a sort of job for me and may I just say that I was not prepared for how the visit ended on a blanket in the back room of the office.  Totally not expected.  Totally hot.  Cue smile on my face all day!

I would say that this has been a successful weekend of adulting.  A lot of fun was had.  Resting took place.  No one was hurt. 

If it does not bring you income, inspiration or orgasms, it doesn't belong in your life!

I am Large and In Charge...

It's too late to say sorry or Casper Returns or....

Mr Big Realized He is a BIG DICK
I am not sure what the appropriate title for this blog would be.

2 months and one day later... Mr Big (AKA Ghoster) appears from the shadows of darkness where one can hear the crickets chirping and says Boo!

He attempts communication via email, fb messenger and text.  When he realizes that I indeed did reply back to him via email*, he texts me that I always treated him like a "king" despite his faults.  Silence/Crickets this time from my end. He then decides that silence is a fair treatment.  Silly me to think he was done.

*Let me go back to the email I sent to him.  When he emailed me about something music related, I took it as my opening to reply back and slam that door... the closure I longed for.

I wrote back "I wanted to thank you for ghosting me. Best thing you ever could've done for me.  25 lbs down plus inches plus more to go #bestsingleslifeever
Having the time of my life and started a blog on dating and divorce. None of this would've happened had you not swept into my life unannounced and so abruptly did the dick ghost move which turned into a blessing. So thank you."

I thought (wrongly so) that I was done. I said my peace and I had closure...  (insert evil laugh) WRONG!

He called me twice today and then messaged and texted.  My friend who was responsible for hooking me and the ghost up, called me out saying that I was doing to him as I did not want to have happen to me - I was ghosting back.  Ugh -  she was right of course, so I called him.

He apologized for having a "melt-down" as he was under a lot of stress from his work hours as well as school.  He is not a good student or good man and he has been trying to reach out to me and find my info, etc...  That I treated him so well despite how ugly he was to me and how much I put up with, etc...     

He wanted to get back together and see me.  No.  Just have coffee.  No.  Friends. No

I told him my standards are set high as I have self respect and self worth. Communication is key.  That I was and am worth more than what he did to me. 

Once we were done and I hung up, he continued to text me and wanted to see me.  I told him it is not happening and best of luck.  He also texted "Truth be told I had no better lover/friend than you since we met." Thanks again."  I kept saying best of luck , we are not meeting, we are not having coffee, etc....  
He concluded with "The offer is there.  Those who run aren't as strong as those who go back."  

I have news for you buddy... I slammed the door and walked away with my head held high. No running.  Peace out!

I feel amazing.  Empowered and changed for the better.  In a past life, I would have taken him back. Not anymore.  I have turned so many corners and changed in so many ways.  

I am Large and In Charge!

Vagina Voodoo

A friend came up with the idea for the title of this blog post... based on the events of the past week. 

Single life, AKA "Freedom" suits me for now just fine.  That is not to say that sooner than later I might want a relationship to develop... but for the moment I am living in the moment... and identifying with "Jane the slut" from Rocky Horror!

It has been quite the over abundance of activity this week on the dating/fun/sex front.  The general consensus has been if we are not hurting anyone, sex and all that goes with it just feels good.  It is nice to be taken out for drinks and an appetizer, listen to music....  while stirring up chemistry and have all the control.  

I go from Mom to MILF to Mom mode in the course of three days, so my weekends have to count for something!

I do not think that I am going to use this post to elaborate with nicknames or details as I plan to / pretty sure I will see them all again.  What I can tell you is that women are pretty powerful beings.  My vagina apparently has magic voodoo and it must manifest itself via my eyes and body language.  Powerful stuff I tell you.

Also this week I am feeling very empowered for a few reasons... 

1) I chose my boudoir photo that will be used for someone else's blog on empowering women. It took me 30 min to make my final choice and to be 100% with no regrets on the one I chose. It is an amazing photo that leaves just enough to the imagination and has the power to collapse a man to his knees...

2) I also eliminated about 6-7 from chatting with me.  I chose the ones I felt were worth carrying on a conversation / potential meeting with.  The others for various reasons I simply told that it was not going to work out or I needed to pair down the conversations I was having for lack of time.

3) I told someone that we were not a good match (after he asked me for my weight) and realized next time I will ask him his penis size.  Although I bet he will be happy to share!  I also shared a full length dressed pic with someone as I had shared that I was full-figured, etc...  and after 5 minutes of radio silence I swiped left and deleted him.  It is ok if someone chooses to be superficial  - that is their American right!  

4) The men I have seen this week are ok with the flaws of my body / extra weight as they know I am working on it.   I am working on being ok with me too - soooo difficult and challenging to hear someone loves your ass! It is also interesting to learn that a man that is super hot also sees himself as flawed and has insecurities about part of his bod!  Eye opening.

My words of wisdom this week to all of the men have been to not say they are sorry for anything. In conversation something will come up...say talking a lot/sharing...and they might say "sorry" for talking too much. Why say sorry? Are you really sorry? If you did not want to talk then stop. Or talk and take ownership.  Own it.  Be glad I am an amazing listener (NOT your therapist!).  Own your actions and feelings.  

I have grown a lot in the last few months and am better for it. So to that original guy that ghosted me - I say thank you.  Your interest in me as a FWB and subsequent dick move ghosting was such an amazing gift.

Signing off and shutting down the Vagina Voodoo for the next few weeks (minus one day) as I am on mom mode. Plus my body and mind needs to reset itself.

I am Large and In Charge and your modern day full-figured Carrie Bradshaw...

The Field...

Whoever "they" is ..call it "Playing the Field" and I guess I can certainly say that  have rounded the bases many times.  No regrets. Full ownership for what I am doing and what I am after.  

I am a woman that spent the last decade unsatisfied sexually and I am "playing catch (up)" to make up for lost time.

Speaking of catching up...  here at blog central, there needs to be some updates.

Someone I was chatting with on the phone (who btw was super religious and attended church daily*) tried to sextort me.  Our conversations got pretty hot and heavy and there was a lot of sexting. (*He must need to ask for forgiveness daily) He tried to force me to give him nude pics of my butt, breasts or leg in 5 minutes or he was withholding seeing me as he was not convinced  was "all in".  WTF  You can take your religion and shove it where the sun does not shine sir...  Seriously - You have no power over me.. I had not met you and I was not invested.  Thank goodness I did not meet him!

*Southern Gentleman is no more. He broke his cardinal rule and the last time he was here (middle of a day), he took pleasure before me, leaving me unsatisfied.  I knew that was the last time I would see him.  He did not text his good mornings and sure enough today there was "the text" saying that he is "taking a break" and he is getting his life re-focused and he has a "lot going on" blah blah...   It may have been that he saw part of my largeness that he did not like in the daylight - who knows.  Whatever the case... he has ridden off on his horse into the darkness and I am A-Ok with it!

After a 7 week determined conquest... I was able to get someone to commit to giving me the hug and kiss that I had been promised.  It led to a LOT More and we needed to be hosed off.  What was truly unfortunate was the intentional bruises that were left behind as a result of the hot passion.  I like it a little rough, but not to where it hurts to touch my now black and blue nipples!!!

Someone earlier this week made a quick coffee date with me and then a day later called it off as he was getting more serious with a woman he was dating (they decided all of the sudden)... Not sure I actually believe him.  Super unfortunate as I was hoping to connect with him and his music - he seemed like a good one.  Someone else I chatted with this past week and made a date with for Sunday also messaged me today and told me that he was getting back together with his ex as of this am.  Two in one day!  He I was not as excited about so this was also fine.   Plus- no sooner did this happen than I replaced him with a different date!

I have 4 dates lined up for this weekend.. 2 are more about a physical FWB type thing, one I have no idea and the other seems somewhat normal and subdued.  

I have to say that I am having fun and this is all I want.  For now.. I do miss having someone to go places with me and have fun.  For now I will continue to safely play the field and accumulate those numbers for my numbers game and enjoy the physical connections, first time kisses, passion, dirty talk and ...  but I know there will be a time when I would love to find someone to date more consistently or have a LTR with.  

For now though - I have more bases to run and tackling to do.  Signing off until after the weekend of fun..I am large and in charge! 

Jeopardy

(Mom you had better sit down for this one!)

Alex, I will take "WTF" for 69 please...
A: "Ok, the answer is sit on my face"
Q: "What is something you want to do to me?"

OMG so two different men I have been talking / texting with (out of 4 I think this week) told me during a hot & heavy conversation (one was text and the other was via phone) that they could not wait to have me sit on their face.

I am not kidding! Would I lie about something I did in my early 20's?  LOL, yes, ok, I did a lot of fun stuff in my 20's.  Apparently it is a thing and men love to have women sit on their face so they can lick them and eat them out and make them "squirt"... yup - that is also a thing.  I was asked if I "squirt".    How the hell do I know if I "squirt".  I have never held up a mirror to myself while I was having an orgasm or cumming.

Ok.. I must admit that it does not sound all that bad, but how am I going to manage to sit my older big booty on their face exactly?   I am sure they would figure it out!

I have been asked to send boob pics, nude pics and pics in lingerie/bra/undies as well (all of which is a no an against my self protection internet/technology policy so that my image and/or body parts do not end up on some crazy sick sites out there).    

I have been told in explicit detail what they want to do to me and asked if I would masturbate with them on the phone/sext with them.  I have been asked if I had an orgasm yet for the day and do I have daily orgasms.  Mind you... I have yet to meet any of the "fab" four yet!

It is a crazy sex filled WTF world out there for sure. There is no lack of men that are looking to have fun.

I think if there was a sexual Jeopardy.. I might just have a shot at winning!

What's the craziest thing you have been asked?

Signing off... I am Large and In Charge!

I want your sex..

And to quote George Michael "Sex is natural, sex is good...Not everybody does it...But everybody should...Sex is natural, sex is fun...Sex is best when it's, one on one...One on one"

Not all sex is good... in fact, there are times when you just want to go home and shower and brush your teeth.  The build up was good but alas when I stepped foot into Cook's apartment I felt like I was in a storage locker.  WTH... it was worse than my ex and that is a big feat to accomplish.  That certainly did not set the mood but alas this girl set out for an adventure and she was not a quitter.  The details of how we even ended up in his bed I will skip, but suffice to say the blue ropes were fun but it really was not all that. He certainly did not take the notes I had relayed to him about what I like.  If I am going to experiment with light S&M and do things I have not done before... there needs to be more to it than there was.  It just wasn't what I would consider a play atmosphere.  I trusted him just fine but could not get to where I needed to be orgasm wise with the clutter and dogs on the other side of the door to the small cramped apartment.  He was not seductive and was very mechanical and sweaty.  The final straw for me was the kissing.  I felt like a big wet erect fish was jabbing itself into my mouth and sloshing around aimlessly.  Just gross.
Within minutes of my arrival home I could not wait to shower and brush my teeth.  He has been messaging me and wants to get together... I will not ghost him but trying to find just the right words to say NO Nope No way!  UPDATE:  Easy Peasy to say adios as he was pressing me to go to a concert with him and when I told him that I had my son that night...  he did not believe me (I know my sons schedule with me for months out) and then he pressed me if I wanted to see him again and posted a crickets meme after he texted me - perfect way to say thanks but your text just gave me the answer and it's been nice but no I do not wish now to see you again.  SEND.  BLOCK! Whew... relief and peace of mind.

Updates:  The nice Jewish guy turns out had some medical issues.  Still is sick.  He might be a maybe.  The fireman is still chatting but I let him know that the bench I have been seated on is expiring and we need to meet soon - there is something about him that I am drawn to and I am not ready to extinguish the flame until I have seen him again, hugged, kissed and had more.  I have a feeling the heat between us will be intense.  

I have plans to see Southern Gentleman again soon, in fact really soon to celebrate the new year!  (Update:  I did see him and in fact we did celebrate for just a few hours as that is the time we had. He actually for the first time noticed the scars and asked me about them.. (Surgery from a lift I had after I lot a lot of weight and my boobs deflated into thin hanging blobs).  He really celebrated as he broke his cardinal rule of ladies first (pleasure).  It was actually totally fine with me as I was enjoying it.  Although I am pretty insatiable and I think about orgasms probably about as much as men think about sex... I do not always need t have an orgasm.. (not that it hurts).  We actually spent about an hour after just kidding, hugging, talking.  I am darn sure that next time it will be all about me  - LOL!  I told him rules were meant to be broken but please be sure to follow his rule next time...  

I met another FWB guy and he is a possibility but has had the flu.  He is pretty cute actually!  I have also been chatting with a 60 yr old who looks like Pharrell Williams in his pics.  I had told him I was looking for someone older and he said "what you don't think I can keep up?"  Good answer Pharrell.  He wants as well to have some fun and if nothing else be friends. That I can do!  I will meet him for coffee this week as he will be having some surgery soon and will be out of commission for a bit.  There is certainly no lack of interesting men out there... 

Today as I was watching some comedy and icing my back... I decided that I need to turn this material into a stand up routine. That is a must. I must I must increase my... presence.

Large and In Charge signing off.

Truly a Numbers Game AKA and then there were three...

Dating is TRULY a number game for both sexes.  The more you chat with / meet... the better your chances are to get lucky, have fun, date, go out or find "the one" for a LTR - whatever you are after.

One night this week, I met Latin Lover for coffee.  We already knew we had a lot in common and were hitting it off, so coffee was a bonus.  We talked there for 2 hours and then at closing moved to the car. We stood outside against the car kissing and talking for 45 minutes.  I kid you not!  He was HOT HOT HOT.  Latin Lover is 11 years my junior.  When I was dishing this fun night to mi madre...  I left out the details that came next...   I took him home!  Yup it was seriously just hot between us and there was absolutely no waiting.  He did not pressure me in any way but the feeling was mutual between us. Pure adult fun with a bonus shower.  (UPDATE...today he told me that he reconnected with someone from 3 years ago...  so he was pretty much a hit it and quit it.  But AT LEAST he told me and told me I was pretty and great and what happened was unexpected, blah blah.  I am not sorry I did it - he was super hot. I am a little sad as I wanted more of him! But there will be more and maybe better yet!)

What is super interesting here is that I am not small.  I have fat pretty much everywhere yet it just did not matter.  I am learning to be comfortable in my skin and with my fat as I navigate towards losing weight... because hell, this girl just wants to have fun! (Singing Cyndi Lauper as I type this)

So fast forward to not so fun Friday...  I was stood up in the morning by a seriously HOT Nurse as he "overslept" as he "worked late"... No second chances. He did not even call! He texted his apology and that he overslept and that I was important... blah blah.  I made the time in my work day, I set alarms and I got maybe 4.5 hours of sleep.... I was there to meet him ON TIME!  I hope I never need to have surgery in his OR...

Later Fri night I had a date with Southern Gentleman... I asked him out so I paid for dinner.  It was nice although the few times I tried to be intimate publicly he did not seem into it. So I refrained. People are silly that way... I was just trying to hold his hand... When we left he did not look so good and once we got home he looked worse. He ended up leaving as he was in pain and did not feel good inside.  I did hear from him today and he still wants to see me and make it up to me - so that is good.  But alas I did not have a lucky Friday at all!  I did finally get some much needed sleep.  Always a positive.

Today I was to meet one more for coffee but did not. After being stood up, I texted to confirm... he read it and never replied back. Nope. Not doing THAT again. NEXT...  Sorry mi madre... no "nice Jewish boy" on this go around.  he is not so nice after all.

I am chatting with a new person. He seems pretty funny. For now I will call him Cook.  He does something in the tech field and is also a cook.  We shall see....

Men, men and more men - its all in the numbers. I do not feel I am doing too bad considering it has been only a month that I have been navigating the minefield called men.  

Tonight its all about my friend and celebrating her. Until my next adventure...
Large and In Charge!

So many men... It's a numbers game... Update to Mrs Robinson

Lets start with an update...   Mrs Robinson did NOT happen. I met Pizza Boy and lets just say NO!  He was super shy and freakishly awkward...not at all like the persona from his texting.  I feel bad for him and maybe he needs a Mrs. Robinson to teach him and guide him, but that is not me.  I considered it but ultimately decided I did not want to be his "guardian angel of sex"!  Just the nature of a "younger" man and the conversations I have had with my friends... well he would not need a blue pill... he would outlast your stamina,  he might "cum" before you even touch him but at least he would be able to get hard again and keep going..  Yeah - these conversations happened!  

In addition to Pizza Boy not happening..  the 36 year old I was talking to (or was he 38... I lost track!) wanted to see me/meet me/pleasure me but I said no. I had come back after a late night with friends and he tried so "hard" bless his heart. I told him I could meet him the next day... but alas no...  So long Casper....  There have been a few others I was chatting with as well and they just simply disappear - all in time for them to be a ghost for Halloween.  I am totally ok with all of these...  it was time for them to disappear ....

It truly is a numbers game!  How many can you talk to on so many sites to make sure you meet a few good men!  We know the men do this with the ladies.

Which brings us to the present and my current balancing act.  I have a meeting date tonight ... Friday night a 3rd date with Southern Gentleman... and Sat another coffee date meeting.  There is a 4th one I need to find time to meet as well. Craziness but oh so much fun!  The one I am meeting tonight is the one I seem to have the most in common with.  If anything goes beyond coffee (not tonight of course) I will dub him Latin Lover.  The one for coffee Sat I will call Nice Jewish Man (NJM).  The one I have yet to meet.... well he is already nicknamed in my head as Sexy Scrub Nurse!

I am having fun making up for the past 8+ years.... 

Gotta run and get some work done before my Boudoir Photo shoot. 
I am Large and In Charge Ladies!

Mrs Robinson

I think I may have officially crossed the twilight zone into Mrs Robinson.  (Just in case I have a younger reader...  Mrs. Robinson is a term used to describe an older woman pursuing someone younger than herself, in reference to the character from the 1967 movie The Graduate.)

I am chatting now with not only a 36 year old (I have yet to decide on his nickname) but... don't judge me.... a 27 year old.  YIKES!  I know...  I am trying NOT to think about his age since my friends have kids this age and older... although our text conversation certainly does not indicate in any way he is 27.  That said - the fact that he has graduated college and is a manager at a fast food restaurant of sorts (lets call him Pizza Boy) does not help matters.

I will meet him tomorrow for coffee and we will go from there. I can tell you that coffee with Pizza Boy is going to be super odd based on the hot steamy sexting ;)  I did ask him why he was wanting to be with and provide stress relief to an older woman and the answer I got was that girls his age were "trashy", looking for "pot" and "money".  

I am feeling a bit "trashy" myself right now - but only because I need a cold shower!  I am not ashamed to say I am having fun being an empowered safe slut sowing her oats after a marriage that was awful * and a divorce that was way worse!   I am not looking for a LTR with Pizza Boy- only some fun  - and why not. LTFS!     Feeling Large and In Charge ... 
Here's to you Mrs Robinson!

*The best thing to come from my last marriage was my amazing son.

Update to FWB..or not

Last week I met the guy that wanted to be a FWB for coffee.  He finally agreed to meet me and it was super akward... for him anyway. I felt bad for him as he seemed not only uncomfortable with us meeting but he was in pain.  The conversation was actually quite interesting I must say.   I suggested some ice and a few other ideas having just gone thru the rib pain as well as occasional back pain.  We started and ended with a hug.  I checked on him and his pain a few times and he asked if I was still interested in an occasional FWB to which I said yes.  Crickets....  And another one bites the dust.  Although I know based on his insane texts that it would have been so much fun to play... it is totally ok we are not.  What he needs at this time of his life is an ice pack and a cold stiff drink!  His loss and my gain...space for another person to chat with!

Sex... I mean Six Random Thoughts

A few updates and Random Thoughts ....

1) I was chatting with someone via text and twice he asked me Whats for Lunch/If I had lunch. Each time was at a non lunch time.  The guy from Denmark who tried to scam me did this too. RED FREAKING FLAG people.... Asking about lunch is code for I will try to scam you in my book.  I am not sure if it really was or not - but I am too creeped out to find out. I told him good luck and I could not chat further with him - he did not understand but I blocked him every which way.  My intuition told me to run far and fast!

2) If there is a will there is a way - be flexible people!  I try and fit the men in, even for a coffee, when I have even an hour.  I have been told be men and women alike - it is a numbers game. I am really bad at "numbers" but meeting people super simple.  Men (especially ones I am not married to) are most fascinating creatures!

3)  Asking me for a full length picture (after I told you I was full figured)... yeah - no - I have none of those. So I had one and it was with 2 friends. I sent it to someone and blocked out friends faces.  He asked me who the tall one was in the middle.  Yeah - so clearly you cannot handle a woman that is Large and in Charge.  News Flash BTW - It is so true what they say about FFJW... I am darn good and my large parts simply do not matter or get in the way of my abilities, talents or desire! NEXT!

4)  I am insatiable right now.  Ever since I had a taste of the Multiple MBO this summer - I want them more.  My motivation to play the numbers game... albeit safely.  I know a few of my friends who say the same thing.  I am NOT alone!

5) Girlfriends are ALWAYS there for you - I will not sell out my time with the Ladies just to have MMBO.  So men had better make the time when I am available or they will be stuck simply texting eggplants and taco emojis for a long time.

6) When I posted about D-pics and V-pics...I neglected to talk about N-pics. Apparently men love a good nipple pic.  My nipple? Really? I would think you'd want the whole pic with tit and nip but either way - NO.  Wait and see....

I think that is all for my random thoughts right now.  Until later.  Scarlet signing off as Large and In Charge!

Pre-Hurricane Bliss... with a true Gentleman

OK, so I may not be able to experience MBO* and Hurricane Sex; however, pre-storm bliss certainly did happen a few days ago.  We had a second "meeting" and it was awesome!  We were slated to go out but never ended up leaving... The conversation was interesting and then I felt like I was back in high school with our make-out session... except we were not stopped by the mere fact that at any moment his mom would walk in and find us engaged in a full on "french kiss and feeling each other up fest." (Not that this happened say 24 years ago or anything....)  This went far beyond the kissing and feeling fest to three hours of pure bliss.  It was seriously awesome!  He is a most interesting person and was most interested in being a "giver".  I would say the MBO I had were just divine.  And I certainly lived up to the stereotypes out there for ladies like me.  For the 5 hours we were together, I never once gave the storm a thought other than to think that at least I am having this experience despite not having a partner for the storm.   In the here and now, there is this and THIS is bliss.

I know he continues to look on line as do I.  We are both simply dating and enjoying meeting different people without an expectation of a LTR, but I for one cannot wait to be with him again to explore more and from what he said, the feeling is mutual.  I told him I would not blog about him, but he gave me permission so long as I protected his identity.   I will refer to him as Mr. True Southern Gentleman... which holds true for one side of him.. as the other side is raw and real.  Until then....

*MBO = Mind-Blowing Orgasms

Hurricanes are bad for one's dating and sex life...

Dorian is threatening to take aim at Florida and this is going to be devastating.  I might not have too many blog entries for a while... but a thought.... I HATE the name Dorian - name of my Dentist and my Divorce Attorney!  DORIAN you are ruining my fun weekend. I mean I DO have a date tonight but....   The anxiety does not make for a good first date or otherwise.  The crappy part of being single during a Hurricane is no Hurricane Sex!  I cannot get preggo so that would not be a problem. Who would not want to experience blissful mind blowing orgasms while your roof is threatening to blow off?  Id much rather be the one blowing... just saying!

Update to Casanova

Well - 6 days later at midnight, 11:56 PM to be precise, I got a call from Casanova.  It went something like this...  
Me:  Hello
Him: Hi
Me: Who is this
Him: You forgot about me
(Ahhh yes, Casanova I thought)
Me: I deleted you from my phone actually. I had not heard from you since last Wed night...
Him:  Well I have not heard from you
Me:  Seriously?
Him:  I was upset that you requested that of me (he is talking about using Condoms by the way...)
Me:  That is the RESPONSIBLE thing to do... I just met you.  We do not really know each other...
Him: I looked in your eyes (eye roll here) and we had a connection
Me:  Its like meeting someone at a bar - you are a virtual stranger
Him: I did not meet you at a bar and do not feel that way.  Are you still seeing others? Did you meet Fireman and Mr Pompano?
Me: Yes indeed - I am talking to them (and others I thought).  I met them too. I am on there to date and meet people until such time as I meet someone for a LTR
Him: Well, I do not want to compete with them.  Once they are gone and you are not seeing them and you want to come back to me, I will be here. Call me.
Me: Ok great bye

WTF!  Is Casanova serious? WOW - is he full of himself or what! Latin Lover won't be seeing my booty any time soon..... make that EVER!

P.S.  As I already knew 100% - I am clean clean clean. No STD's, No HIV, Can't get preggo. I am good!  Suffice to say I am one lucky individual considering how much fun I had in college!

D Pics...

Why on earth do guys think that women want to see a Dick Pic? (D-pic)

Seriously! There is nothing glamorous circumcised or not about a penis!  I do not really want to see a D-pic, a bulge, a tent or otherwise. I do not want to know that you are "supposedly" 7.5", "thick thick" or "well endowed". 

You are asking me if I like my man well endowed? Well lets see - NO - I want someone that has the smallest penis ever so that he has to use a strap on?  WTF!  You telling me that women want a well endowed man for a tight fit does not help me want to be with you more.

Do you even know HOW to use your magic wand? That is what matters more than size...  Giddeup Cowboy!

How many women have ever sent a V-pic to a man?  Vaginas are not really pretty either in my opinion.  They are erogenous sensitive fountains waiting to be released.  Not even bedazzling a vagina can make it pretty enough for a V-pic to be sent.

Body Advice of the Day

Looking for a FWB...

A few days ago I opened up a message on the on line dating site I am on.  Looking fora FWB only.  Sure.. what the heck - let me see what this is all about.  I had a few chats with him after confirming he understood and was "ok" with me being full-figured and wow - people are certainly all out there.

He is all about the boobs - what size - what about your nipples.  He told me his "cock" size (his words) was "7.5 and thick thick circumcised" - Great!  Thanks but I did not ask!  (I can use my peter meter to make sure this is true?)  

I asked him why he was looking for a FWB and he said he was getting over his 3 year relationship with his girlfriend (before that he had been married for many years) and that he did not have time for a relationship.  Interesting.  Not sure I can believe him or anyone really.  He asked for a recent pic to which I sent him a tease picture - one I took that showed a teensy bit of cleavage - beautifully done really - more of a glamour shot my friend did.  He then said he could send me a tease pic to which I quickly replied "NO - I am good. No D pics please!"  (Is there anyone that really likes to look at Dick Pics? Please tell me if so as I cannot even imagine - a side note to this will be a funny story in another blog about a mom I know and D pics).  

The text conversation continued and he kept going about which toys I liked, do I  like his tongue deep in me, favorite place for a man's cum....I cannot even tell you all that was said as it was a lot.  I just kept it up to see how far he would go with the conversation.

He sent me a few pics of him shirtless and may I  just say super buff and handsome. If they were him...

He wanted a full length pic of me too - that is the fun part for me - nope. None. I have none and refused to until I get more weight off.  Being full-figured...hard pass! I did manage to find one where my bottom half melts into the darkness of my black pants...

I have not heard from him since Fri as he was preparing to take his child to college. I know his profile was removed off of the site (either he was on for a month, he changed it, he removed it or was reported- who knows).  I did not expect to hear from him again but the experience and texting was fun. 

I engaged so I could see how far he would go and have great material for my blog. Sext on my friends.. Sext  on!

Scammer

So this morning I was asked if I would send an International Calling Card!  Um yeah... sure.... something I do all the time for a stranger. Sorry - Not stupid!
This guy was super cute (if it was him) and went overseas for a 5 week job...  I said I would continue chatting with him despite a huge disconnect with his face and voice.  Block. Report. Delete.  Next.

Casanova

I met Casanova a few days ago...  We met at a coffee shop - he asked me to stand up and turn around so he could look at me (since I have no full length shots of me on line) and he said he liked what he saw and to not lose my butt!  We only had 45 min together...  mind you he did not even offer to buy me a coffee or an iced tea?  So he asked if we could take a walk...  we walked outside and he grabbed my hand for the step down - which was nice and a gentleman.  We walked down thru the various strip plazas (The entire time I am praying there is no one I know near by).  He then grabbed me against a wall and passionately kissed me.  He did not even ask....  which I have mixed feeling about.  It was super hot but at the same time totally not a gentleman.  This happened two more times btw...  I was flustered and mind blown.  He said i was red as a tomato... He was intent on us meeting up to have a meeting of the bodies...  the NEXT day were were talking and then I had texted him about having protection...  to which stopped him in his hot tracks.  He was taken back.  He said he was just going to trust that I was safe and he figured vice versa as he has been tested and often is due to what I will call a charitable/empathetic medical situation (to protect privacy I will not go into those details).  Hello Mr Casanova - did you get blood and swabbed? When was the last time? How many have you really courted like this?  You say none so far but....     Look - I hate condoms in the worst way - I really do. They are just awful - and honestly the fact that I am safe and clean after all I did in college  - really is a miracle in and of itself... but this is 2019!  We have to have some mode"cum" of responsibility? No?  I would love hot sex with a total stranger but at what risk?
I scheduled a test to have a baseline and show I am clean in the meantime. I even told him (I mean again - I would love to have some fun with the boy (again, 11 years my jr)...
He did send back a sly fox emoji... and then radio silence.  I have not heard from him since that emoji.  Sorry for bursting your hot bubble Mr Casanova - I guess you were filled with a lot of Hot Air!
#wtf #dating #casanova #sex #safety #condoms 

A quickie

I have been on line on dating sites for 6 days and I am talking with 6 different men.  Most fascinating. I met one so far and it went really well.  #2 (I will call him Casanova) is intensely into sex - it is THE topic of conversation. He is very sure that he is going to want to do certain things to me that he describes in great detail.   How conversations and dating have changed since way back when the sites first started peaking.  Come to think of it, how I have changed.  It is way different being a woman in her 40′s.  Did I mention that this is a cougar / Mrs Robinson situation… he is 11 years my junior!  LTR material? Probably not.. but oh the fun I can think of!  BTW I need a good sign off line like TITS UP or Madge the Vag’s Twats up Ladies…  Anyone have something good for me to begin or end with? I do like a happy ending….

#quickie #relationships #sex #dating #wtf #cougar #mrsrobinson #casanova

Mr Big and the Rib Injury I sustained....

I spoke about on my last post about my injury with Mr Big that ghosted me. The third time we met up at my house, we had a marathon session.  Did I mention that I was insatiable?  Full-figured, knee injuries - when there is a will, there is a way and a LOT of sites to tell you the best positions to do,  I digress… Three hours and multiple positions later  - it was time for sleep.  For him anyway - I was wide awake.  Apparently having that much fun can wake me  up - well that and the fact that he SNORED so bad!  I digress again…  so the next day my back hurt…  I did not think anything of it - thought maybe I had a UTI (turns out I found out 2 weeks later that I did have a UTI but that was not the issue..) .  Monday am I was in so much pain and I went to the Foot massage place and had the guy beat the hell out of my back - turns out this was a very very VERY bad idea.  A friend suggested I check with my chiropractor. I went to my old one (had not seen him in 3 years) and he told me that my ribs were…. wait for it…. MALADJUSTED!  WTF?  What is that and how on earth…  OMG Sex!  It was the three hours of sex -but which position?  I changed Chiropractors as that one was not in town and I needed one again right away.  We spoke and figured out which position it probably was…  One for the records books.  Flexibility in my case coupled with some joint/ligament issues I have is a very very VERY bad thing.  It took 3 weeks to feel better and a LOT of time spent on ice. Do you think Mr. Big ever called  me that weekend after I learned what it was to see how I was? NOPE!  I get that he had family in but really?  DUDE - You took part in the Sex!  You helped me in the injury…  Note to self… legs flexibly pushed to ones ears is dangerous!  #dating #ribinjury #wtf #ribsmaladjusted #chiropractor #ghosted

I was GHOSTED!

Lets begin with a WTF on Dating… I was GHOSTED!  A friend of mine introduced me to an acquaintance of hers…  I would say he was on her “D” list…  Someone she considered a friend but she did not really know all that well. I agree except I would say D for DICK move or DOUCHE bag! It started out early in the summer with meeting, him asking the proverbial Alexa how to be set up with me and a lot of texting / sexting.  When we finally met it lasted all of 4 visits / one month of pretty hot sex.  To say after so many years of not having any due to divorce (this is for another post) that I was insatiable was an understatement.  So we were FWB (friends with benefits) but a little more since we texted all the time.. We were both into one another (he told me a lot he was “soooo into me” and how he would love to come home to me and “bang” me) but I knew there was no future - he was  FWB.   That said…  a man should have the BALLS to make a call.   He texts all the time and then sent an email to say “No time, It was fun. Thanks” and then would not return my call when I called and asked him to give me a call.  Ignored a prior text, my call and unfriended me on Facebook….DICK MOVE!  For someone into “open communication” this is about as closed as it gets.  I was super upset   - not about the loss of him - but the loss of the hot sex. LOL - I was not done and I hate not having closure.  Hey Mr Big (my name for him) - THANK YOU for doing me a favor.  You helped to remind me of four fundamental things…  1)  I MISS Sex and kissing and all that goes with it  2) Men can be total D-bags….  I need to take chances but keep my guard up a little longer 3) I found myself again and was back to the me I was 10 years ago and 4) I was ready to put myself back out there on the dating sites (5 days in and the stories will be plentiful). 
P.S.  this post will lead to more about Mr Big…  The “gift” he gave me for my birthday…  a sex injury…  and more.  #dating #wtf  #ghosting #dickmove #sex

Welcome to the WTF D&D Chronicles...

Welcome to the WTF D&D Chronicles.  My name is Scarlet Wilde.  This blog is random thoughts on Dating and Divorce.  This is NO HOLDS BARRED….not for the faint of heart.  For years I have wanted to share my experiences as well as those of my friends.  The time has come!  As I embark on a big birthday I felt it was time to get out there.   Please join me and chime in/share yours as well.  Life is Too Freaking Short (LTFS) to not laugh and share in our joy and misery…  as The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel says.. “TITS UP Ladies!”  #dating #wtf #divorce #scarletwilde #relationships