Friday, August 30, 2019

Hurricanes are bad for one's dating and sex life...

Dorian is threatening to take aim at Florida and this is going to be devastating.  I might not have too many blog entries for a while... but a thought.... I HATE the name Dorian - name of my Dentist and my Divorce Attorney!  DORIAN you are ruining my fun weekend. I mean I DO have a date tonight but....   The anxiety does not make for a good first date or otherwise.  The crappy part of being single during a Hurricane is no Hurricane Sex!  I cannot get preggo so that would not be a problem. Who would not want to experience blissful mind blowing orgasms while your roof is threatening to blow off?  Id much rather be the one blowing... just saying!

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Update to Casanova

Well - 6 days later at midnight, 11:56 PM to be precise, I got a call from Casanova.  It went something like this...  
Me:  Hello
Him: Hi
Me: Who is this
Him: You forgot about me
(Ahhh yes, Casanova I thought)
Me: I deleted you from my phone actually. I had not heard from you since last Wed night...
Him:  Well I have not heard from you
Me:  Seriously?
Him:  I was upset that you requested that of me (he is talking about using Condoms by the way...)
Me:  That is the RESPONSIBLE thing to do... I just met you.  We do not really know each other...
Him: I looked in your eyes (eye roll here) and we had a connection
Me:  Its like meeting someone at a bar - you are a virtual stranger
Him: I did not meet you at a bar and do not feel that way.  Are you still seeing others? Did you meet Fireman and Mr Pompano?
Me: Yes indeed - I am talking to them (and others I thought).  I met them too. I am on there to date and meet people until such time as I meet someone for a LTR
Him: Well, I do not want to compete with them.  Once they are gone and you are not seeing them and you want to come back to me, I will be here. Call me.
Me: Ok great bye

WTF!  Is Casanova serious? WOW - is he full of himself or what! Latin Lover won't be seeing my booty any time soon..... make that EVER!

P.S.  As I already knew 100% - I am clean clean clean. No STD's, No HIV, Can't get preggo. I am good!  Suffice to say I am one lucky individual considering how much fun I had in college!

Monday, August 26, 2019

D Pics...

Why on earth do guys think that women want to see a Dick Pic? (D-pic)

Seriously! There is nothing glamorous circumcised or not about a penis!  I do not really want to see a D-pic, a bulge, a tent or otherwise. I do not want to know that you are "supposedly" 7.5", "thick thick" or "well endowed". 
You are asking me if I like my man well endowed? Well lets see - NO - I want someone that has the smallest penis ever so that he has to use a strap on?  WTF!  You telling me that women want a well endowed man for a tight fit does not help me want to be with you more.
Do you even know HOW to use your magic wand? That is what matters more than size...  Giddeup Cowboy!
How many women have ever sent a V-pic to a man?  Vaginas are not really pretty either in my opinion.  They are erogenous sensitive fountains waiting to be released.  Not even bedazzling a vagina can make it pretty enough for a V-pic to be sent.

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Body Advice of the Day


Looking for a FWB...

A few days ago I opened up a message on the on line dating site I am on.  Looking fora FWB only.  Sure.. what the heck - let me see what this is all about.  I had a few chats with him after confirming he understood and was "ok" with me being full-figured and wow - people are certainly all out there.

He is all about the boobs - what size - what about your nipples.  He told me his "cock" size (his words) was "7.5 and thick thick circumcised" - Great!  Thanks but I did not ask!  (I can use my peter meter to make sure this is true?)  

I asked him why he was looking for a FWB and he said he was getting over his 3 year relationship with his girlfriend (before that he had been married for many years) and that he did not have time for a relationship.  Interesting.  Not sure I can believe him or anyone really.  He asked for a recent pic to which I sent him a tease picture - one I took that showed a teensy bit of cleavage - beautifully done really - more of a glamour shot my friend did.  He then said he could send me a tease pic to which I quickly replied "NO - I am good. No D pics please!"  (Is there anyone that really likes to look at Dick Pics? Please tell me if so as I cannot even imagine - a side note to this will be a funny story in another blog about a mom I know and D pics).  

The text conversation continued and he kept going about which toys I liked, do I  like his tongue deep in me, favorite place for a man's cum....I cannot even tell you all that was said as it was a lot.  I just kept it up to see how far he would go with the conversation.

He sent me a few pics of him shirtless and may I  just say super buff and handsome. If they were him...

He wanted a full length pic of me too - that is the fun part for me - nope. None. I have none and refused to until I get more weight off.  Being full-figured...hard pass! I did manage to find one where my bottom half melts into the darkness of my black pants...

I have not heard from him since Fri as he was preparing to take his child to college. I know his profile was removed off of the site (either he was on for a month, he changed it, he removed it or was reported- who knows).  I did not expect to hear from him again but the experience and texting was fun. 

I engaged so I could see how far he would go and have great material for my blog. Sext on my friends.. Sext  on!

Saturday, August 24, 2019

Scammer

So this morning I was asked if I would send an International Calling Card!  Um yeah... sure.... something I do all the time for a stranger. Sorry - Not stupid!
This guy was super cute (if it was him) and went overseas for a 5 week job...  I said I would continue chatting with him despite a huge disconnect with his face and voice.  Block. Report. Delete.  Next.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Casanova

I met Casanova a few days ago...  We met at a coffee shop - he asked me to stand up and turn around so he could look at me (since I have no full length shots of me on line) and he said he liked what he saw and to not lose my butt!  We only had 45 min together...  mind you he did not even offer to buy me a coffee or an iced tea?  So he asked if we could take a walk...  we walked outside and he grabbed my hand for the step down - which was nice and a gentleman.  We walked down thru the various strip plazas (The entire time I am praying there is no one I know near by).  He then grabbed me against a wall and passionately kissed me.  He did not even ask....  which I have mixed feeling about.  It was super hot but at the same time totally not a gentleman.  This happened two more times btw...  I was flustered and mind blown.  He said i was red as a tomato... He was intent on us meeting up to have a meeting of the bodies...  the NEXT day were were talking and then I had texted him about having protection...  to which stopped him in his hot tracks.  He was taken back.  He said he was just going to trust that I was safe and he figured vice versa as he has been tested and often is due to what I will call a charitable/empathetic medical situation (to protect privacy I will not go into those details).  Hello Mr Casanova - did you get blood and swabbed? When was the last time? How many have you really courted like this?  You say none so far but....     Look - I hate condoms in the worst way - I really do. They are just awful - and honestly the fact that I am safe and clean after all I did in college  - really is a miracle in and of itself... but this is 2019!  We have to have some mode"cum" of responsibility? No?  I would love hot sex with a total stranger but at what risk?
I scheduled a test to have a baseline and show I am clean in the meantime. I even told him (I mean again - I would love to have some fun with the boy (again, 11 years my jr)...
He did send back a sly fox emoji... and then radio silence.  I have not heard from him since that emoji.  Sorry for bursting your hot bubble Mr Casanova - I guess you were filled with a lot of Hot Air!
#wtf #dating #casanova #sex #safety #condoms 

A quickie

I have been on line on dating sites for 6 days and I am talking with 6 different men.  Most fascinating. I met one so far and it went really well.  #2 (I will call him Casanova) is intensely into sex - it is THE topic of conversation. He is very sure that he is going to want to do certain things to me that he describes in great detail.   How conversations and dating have changed since way back when the sites first started peaking.  Come to think of it, how I have changed.  It is way different being a woman in her 40′s.  Did I mention that this is a cougar / Mrs Robinson situation… he is 11 years my junior!  LTR material? Probably not.. but oh the fun I can think of!  BTW I need a good sign off line like TITS UP or Madge the Vag’s Twats up Ladies…  Anyone have something good for me to begin or end with? I do like a happy ending….
#quickie #relationships #sex #dating #wtf #cougar #mrsrobinson #casanova

Mr Big and the Rib Injury I sustained....

I spoke about on my last post about my injury with Mr Big that ghosted me. The third time we met up at my house, we had a marathon session.  Did I mention that I was insatiable?  Full-figured, knee injuries - when there is a will, there is a way and a LOT of sites to tell you the best positions to do,  I digress… Three hours and multiple positions later  - it was time for sleep.  For him anyway - I was wide awake.  Apparently having that much fun can wake me  up - well that and the fact that he SNORED so bad!  I digress again…  so the next day my back hurt…  I did not think anything of it - thought maybe I had a UTI (turns out I found out 2 weeks later that I did have a UTI but that was not the issue..) .  Monday am I was in so much pain and I went to the Foot massage place and had the guy beat the hell out of my back - turns out this was a very very VERY bad idea.  A friend suggested I check with my chiropractor. I went to my old one (had not seen him in 3 years) and he told me that my ribs were…. wait for it…. MALADJUSTED!  WTF?  What is that and how on earth…  OMG Sex!  It was the three hours of sex -but which position?  I changed Chiropractors as that one was not in town and I needed one again right away.  We spoke and figured out which position it probably was…  One for the records books.  Flexibility in my case coupled with some joint/ligament issues I have is a very very VERY bad thing.  It took 3 weeks to feel better and a LOT of time spent on ice. Do you think Mr. Big ever called  me that weekend after I learned what it was to see how I was? NOPE!  I get that he had family in but really?  DUDE - You took part in the Sex!  You helped me in the injury…  Note to self… legs flexibly pushed to ones ears is dangerous!  #dating #ribinjury #wtf #ribsmaladjusted #chiropractor #ghosted

I was GHOSTED!

Lets begin with a WTF on Dating… I was GHOSTED!  A friend of mine introduced me to an acquaintance of hers…  I would say he was on her “D” list…  Someone she considered a friend but she did not really know all that well. I agree except I would say D for DICK move or DOUCHE bag! It started out early in the summer with meeting, him asking the proverbial Alexa how to be set up with me and a lot of texting / sexting.  When we finally met it lasted all of 4 visits / one month of pretty hot sex.  To say after so many years of not having any due to divorce (this is for another post) that I was insatiable was an understatement.  So we were FWB (friends with benefits) but a little more since we texted all the time.. We were both into one another (he told me a lot he was “soooo into me” and how he would love to come home to me and “bang” me) but I knew there was no future - he was  FWB.   That said…  a man should have the BALLS to make a call.   He texts all the time and then sent an email to say “No time, It was fun. Thanks” and then would not return my call when I called and asked him to give me a call.  Ignored a prior text, my call and unfriended me on Facebook….DICK MOVE!  For someone into “open communication” this is about as closed as it gets.  I was super upset   - not about the loss of him - but the loss of the hot sex. LOL - I was not done and I hate not having closure.  Hey Mr Big (my name for him) - THANK YOU for doing me a favor.  You helped to remind me of four fundamental things…  1)  I MISS Sex and kissing and all that goes with it  2) Men can be total D-bags….  I need to take chances but keep my guard up a little longer 3) I found myself again and was back to the me I was 10 years ago and 4) I was ready to put myself back out there on the dating sites (5 days in and the stories will be plentiful). 
P.S.  this post will lead to more about Mr Big…  The “gift” he gave me for my birthday…  a sex injury…  and more.  #dating #wtf  #ghosting #dickmove #sex

Welcome to the WTF D&D Chronicles...

Welcome to the WTF D&D Chronicles.  My name is Scarlet Wilde.  This blog is random thoughts on Dating and Divorce.  This is NO HOLDS BARRED….not for the faint of heart.  For years I have wanted to share my experiences as well as those of my friends.  The time has come!  As I embark on a big birthday I felt it was time to get out there.   Please join me and chime in/share yours as well.  Life is Too Freaking Short (LTFS) to not laugh and share in our joy and misery…  as The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel says.. “TITS UP Ladies!”  #dating #wtf #divorce #scarletwilde #relationships