Monday, March 2, 2020

You did NOT just go THERE...

This goes under the heading of "You did NOT just go THERE"...

And there he went.   About two or so weeks into knowing one another... there was a pause one evening during our nightly marathon phone sessions... and I swore he wanted to say he loved me.

I am talking about "Sir" from a few blogs ago.  We have really been hitting it off, talking a lot and spending a lot of time together.  I already met his mom!

Fast forward to a few weeks later on a Saturday night, well Sunday 3 am but who's clock watching...  when I get up to go to sleep in the other room (Sir is an AWFUL loud SNORING machine) and go to first scoop the cat liter.  Yes, I know it is 3 am!

I am scooping the cat liter which means that Sir is my my bed and I am in the same room but on the other side of the wall in my closet, when I hear "Good night, I love you."

Like a deer in headlights, I froze.  Did he?  He did.  OY VEY!  I go to the other room to go to sleep.

Fast forward a few hours later and few more hours of fun and we need showers.  In the shower, he looks at me and mouths it yet again.. the "I Love You".  Shit!  Now I have to deal with him having gone there.  Drat!

I know right - its an awful thing to have someone actually Love you! 

I honestly told him that I am not discounting his feelings and if he wants to say it, I am not going to tell him to stop.  I believe he does "L" me and that did he 
want to say it a few weeks ago on the phone? (He did).  It is awkward as I am not ready to say it, that I do not want to fuck things up by saying it, etc....  but that I like him and care for him a great deal - that he makes me happy.  We have immense fun together and good communication.  

The next night, he calls me his girlfriend in a story he tells me.  WHOA!  Did you just now go THERE?  Does your "Girlfriend" know that she is your girlfriend?  And so I went right back THERE until he gave up and professed to try again at a later date.  I mean seeing if someone wants to be a girl/boy friend is a conversation of some kind - wouldn't you agree? Then to add in our other lifestyle to that - a few things have to be communicated/discussed.  

Thank goodness at my ripe old age that I can communicate pretty much about anything. It is now a running joke but in all seriousness...  this is certainly an intense, enjoyable wild ride and I do not want to get off (the ride of course you dirty mind you!).  I have been happier than I have been in a long time.  

I do not know what the future holds (except that I have been doing fairly good at my predictions with this one) but I can say that there is way more of this story to write.

This was an unexpected relationship I was not out seeking. I was having fun dating and having sex and partying.  Thank goodness none of that will have to change if he and I are bf/gf.  

I am Large and In Charge signing off with a smile on my face.  Scarlet!

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Why Didn't you tell me

Why is it that my FWB waits for me to share things that I want to try and things that have happened to me before telling me he wants to do them to me?

Going back to the infamous Black Friday weekend... when I told him about things on my bucket list such as a threesome with 2 guys and me as well as anal sex, I found out he wanted to do them with me as well.  It just "had not come up" was his answer.  Mind you the anal sex was amazing as another blog spoke about, but still....  Why wait for me to bring it up?

Fast forward to this past weekend when I told him about an experience I had from part of my alternative lifestyle and he again said, great, so I can do that to you as well.

Ummmmmm  WTF!  I said you want to do that to me? You do that?  Why did you not bring this up to me... His response was again that it just did not come up. We of course did it and anal sex the other night.  Heaven!  If I had only known about this a few mos ago...  

Since I do not hold back I will go ahead and tell you that the experience was and has been fisting.  I never ever in a million years thought I would ever do something that sounds barbaric.  Do not knock it until you try it. Again - holy fists!  It creates squirting and is just incredible if done right with someone who cares and will not jam their hand up you and create pain.   

Try something new.  Let yourself be free with the right partner to Explore. Experiment. Enjoy. There are no promises of tomorrow.  There is only today for us to live our lives.

I am living life Large and In Charge. I hope you will join me.

Love Scarlet

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

OMG THIS is what all the fuss is about

Up until this past year, I had never heard the term "squirting".  Once I learned what it was, I thought that it was literally a "fountain" of liquid like would come from squirting something out of a bottle or a stream of something.  Yes, it can be that but it can simply be a rush of liquid and wetness creating a puddle.  No arched stream necessary.

Can I just say OMG - so THIS is what all the fuss is about.  NOW I know WHY men want to make a woman "squirt".  Now I know why I want to squirt.

In case YOU do not know - let me give you a definition by sharing from an article from Healthline, entitled "Everything You Need to Know About Squirting" Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, PhD, LCSW, CST on November 20, 2019 Written by Gabrielle Kassel

What is it?   
“Squirting refers to the expulsion of fluid from folks with vulvas during sex,” certified sex coach Gigi Engle, author of “All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life.”
The fluid — which isn’t pure pee, but rather is a combination of urea, uric acid, and creatinine — is released by the Skene’s gland, which sits at the lower end of the urethra.
Although the terms “female ejaculate” and “squirting” are sometimes used interchangeably, Dr. Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics’ resident sexologist, notes that some people argue that ejaculating and squirting are two different things.
When someone squirts, Engle says, “it’s usually from G-spot stimulation, or clitoral and G-spot dual stimulation.”
She explains: The Skene’s glands, G-spot, and urethral sponge are all located in roughly the same area of the body.
“Typically, if you stimulate one thing, you likely stimulate them all.” And if you stimulate the Skene’s gland? Sometimes folks with vulvas squirt!

That’s like asking what an orgasm or sex feels like: Everyone will have a slightly different answer.
According to Engle, “Some people say it feels nothing like an orgasm. While others note that it feels [similar], but slightly different from, an orgasm.”
“It’s intense. Like an extreme release. For me, I orgasm and then if my husband keeps touching my G-spot, then I squirt. It’s not really a similar sensation for me,” says Abby K., 42.
“Due to the pressure on the urethra, some people report feeling like they need to pee right before they squirt,” says Engle.
That’s the case for Joannie N., 29. “Right before it happens, I literally feel like I’m going to wet the bed. While it’s happening it feels like a really wet orgasm,” she says.
I highly recommend checking out the full article:
I remember having wet spots and I believe I gushed a few times with a partner or two in the past several months, but this most recent squirting was surreal.  I have never felt so much wetness or gushed so much than I did this time.  Each time was like an intense orgasm over and over and over again for what was maybe 30-45 minutes... I have no idea honestly.   I finally collapsed on the bed, my body exhausted from all of the gushing O's. 
Funny thing about that body exhaustion is that it really energized me.  I had a good deal of energy for most of the day as I often do when I have sex multiple times in a night.
I am telling you...  go find out what all the fuss is about.  Get yourself a partner to help you gush and/or squirt.  You won't be sorry!
I am Large and In Charge... take charge of you and squirt on!
Love, Scarlet

Monday, January 27, 2020

Feast or Famine

It is either Feast or Famine....   I am either being cancelled on, ghosted or I have too many toys or pieces of meat, er I mean men or boys...vying for my attention.  

I have one that I met at a party and I apparently have been on his mind a lot.  He wants to be with me and see me at any juncture.  I am going to call him "Sir" for now as I am sure there will be more to write about him.  

I have another that when he found out about being cancelled on 2 Wednesdays in a row - said he would never do that to me.  We have a date on Friday.  He is already smitten and has not met me. I warn them not to get attached to me - esp when they have not met me! Lets call him Redhead.

That's two...

We have the guy who cancelled on me twice that is not giving up and insists he must meet me...  This one can take a number as it is a pretty long wait.  We can call him Pistol for now. 

There are two others that also are not giving up - but they can... they are just looking for a hook-up, which clearly I do not need right now. HAHAHA

There is another that wants to "play" but I am pretty sure I deflated his ball as where there is lack of communication for me - there is lack of interest to play on my part.

Lets not forget we have to fit my FWB in the mix. If he was ready to get to know me better in terms of dating/relationship - this is the one I would try with.  For sure.  That said - he is not ready for that in his life, so we remain FWB.  I am not waiting around, so sadly it might need to end at some pt.  This would be a travesty as the intimate connection between us is insane and intense. I have not even had this type of connection with those I have been married to!  He is a really great guy too - just has things he needs to deal with.  

Whew. I apparently am currently on a feast.  NOT that I am complaining by any means.  Hell No - It's great.  It is pretty awesome and empowering to think that I could be and am wanted. Even if they only want me for one thing ... and to know that they probably wont get it as I do not need to have any hook ups right now - I am pretty good in that department.  

I would rather feast on man meat than eat regular food any day!  I am having fun and exploring as life is too short.  One day you are having fun and the next you are gone.

Enjoy life.  Have fun. Do you. Explore.  You are enough.   Be Large and In Charge in all parts of your life.

Signing off for today..    Love Scarlet

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Cancelled on yet again (not a funny post)

I  have been awol for many reasons and I apologize for the long break I took.  Between end of the year, my son, getting the flu,etc...   I am back.

Its no wonder I prefer the fet fun over the dating world.   Being cancelled on sucks!  Yet again another back to back Wed cancellation.  Similar to a few mos ago where one week it is work and the next week it is their daughter.
Pretty sure I am way too skeptical as I do not believe what he said.  Even if it were true, I am not ok with it despite the fact that he supposedly is putting his daughter first.  Problem is that why did he not see her last night or night before, etc... as he was talking about? Why did this so called situation happen to come up 30 min before we were to meet?
I showered and got pretty and did my hair and make-up.  I tried so hard to salvage the night but had no options that would work out.  Finally at 8:30 I was resolved to change into pajamas and call it a night.  8:30!  Just ugh...  

What is worse that anything is that he was HOT! I mean his body was smoking hot.  I mourn the loss of what I will never get to experience in person. RIP smoking hot body.

Anyway - I am using this time to catch up on those chatting with me on line.  We shall see.

Until my next more upbeat and funny post. 

P.S. I get to see my FWB Sat night and I cant wait!

I am Large (3 ten spots less) and In Charge!

P.P.S.  So here we are at the 3rd Wed in a row and I had plans to meet a different person (also from FB dating which is just awful) and no text! Last night was the last text.  We had a tentative time, I was to hear from him during the day and then place tbd.  I texted him at 6 - heard nothing.  Crazy really.  Good thing I have plan B!  Always have plan B I have decided when it comes to the dating world.  Thankfully plan B comes from a different part of my life.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019


Have you ever learned things that have a profound impact on your life?  That happened to me this past weekend as I learned some things about people I have known for a considerable amount of time.  Life altering information... not for them but for me.  The fact that this has been hidden from me for so long was irrelevant... what was profound is that this information has helped me to make some important decisions about me and my life.

I have been dating since August 16 and I have had an immense amount of fun.  I was thinking I was done and I should reduce the amount of "hoeness" (my own new word) that was happening life and maybe seek to find someone for a LTR.  Nope! I learned this weekend that I am not ready for that.

If I happen to find someone and they are on the same page as I am in terms of my lifestyle - great!  If not - a LTR will have to wait a bit longer as I seek to explore and have some fun.

I have decided to try some things out and test my limits.  I want to keep exploring and have some good old fashioned BDSM fun.  I have created an adult bucket list if you will and I am seeking to fulfill it.   Not that it was ever taboo, but somehow this revelation I learned from my friends has created a second awakening of sorts and I am super excited about it.

I urge you to remember that life is short. Do not wait to fulfill your buckets lists or fantasies.  The time for you is here and now!

Here is to the unknown future. I am large and in charge.


Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Me and My Big Fancy Degree...

One surefire way to get yourself blocked is to spout off in a text about how you would not live up to my standards and my "big fancy degree".  WTF!  Did I ever mention that I am better than you because I own my own business? NO!  Have a masters degree? No!  Own my own house? No!

I never once degraded you or made you feel less than me - and we had not even met.  YOU were the one who said these things and said would you even date someone with a learning disability plus you said you had one friend.  WOW!

Go get some self confidence and good luck out there.  I am thankful I found out before we met and/or slept together that you are one big sad red flag waiting to happen.

I am way less judgmental than my friends and / or family when it comes to looks or your job, your status, etc...    You fucked it all up when you could not handle that I had to work tonight instead of giving you (whom I had not met yet) my undivided attention when I  had told you that I am a busy mom that is getting caught up before a busy weekend and the holidays.  I told you we could not meet for 2 weeks.  You said you were patient and then quickly changed your tune and outlook on yourself.

When I said that what I did not like was the lack of self confidence/self-esteem (my opinion/observation) and that I did not say anything about your job, education, status  - you did - but you proceeded to tell me that you did not need a lecture and said "let me bow to your perfection".  DUDE you have ISSUES!

WARNING WARNING - and Block.  Next.....