Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Cancelled on yet again (not a funny post)

I  have been awol for many reasons and I apologize for the long break I took.  Between end of the year, my son, getting the flu,etc...   I am back.

Its no wonder I prefer the fet fun over the dating world.   Being cancelled on sucks!  Yet again another back to back Wed cancellation.  Similar to a few mos ago where one week it is work and the next week it is their daughter.
Pretty sure I am way too skeptical as I do not believe what he said.  Even if it were true, I am not ok with it despite the fact that he supposedly is putting his daughter first.  Problem is that why did he not see her last night or night before, etc... as he was talking about? Why did this so called situation happen to come up 30 min before we were to meet?
I showered and got pretty and did my hair and make-up.  I tried so hard to salvage the night but had no options that would work out.  Finally at 8:30 I was resolved to change into pajamas and call it a night.  8:30!  Just ugh...  

What is worse that anything is that he was HOT! I mean his body was smoking hot.  I mourn the loss of what I will never get to experience in person. RIP smoking hot body.

Anyway - I am using this time to catch up on those chatting with me on line.  We shall see.

Until my next more upbeat and funny post. 

P.S. I get to see my FWB Sat night and I cant wait!

I am Large (3 ten spots less) and In Charge!

Wednesday, December 4, 2019


Have you ever learned things that have a profound impact on your life?  That happened to me this past weekend as I learned some things about people I have known for a considerable amount of time.  Life altering information... not for them but for me.  The fact that this has been hidden from me for so long was irrelevant... what was profound is that this information has helped me to make some important decisions about me and my life.

I have been dating since August 16 and I have had an immense amount of fun.  I was thinking I was done and I should reduce the amount of "hoeness" (my own new word) that was happening life and maybe seek to find someone for a LTR.  Nope! I learned this weekend that I am not ready for that.

If I happen to find someone and they are on the same page as I am in terms of my lifestyle - great!  If not - a LTR will have to wait a bit longer as I seek to explore and have some fun.

I have decided to try some things out and test my limits.  I want to keep exploring and have some good old fashioned BDSM fun.  I have created an adult bucket list if you will and I am seeking to fulfill it.   Not that it was ever taboo, but somehow this revelation I learned from my friends has created a second awakening of sorts and I am super excited about it.

I urge you to remember that life is short. Do not wait to fulfill your buckets lists or fantasies.  The time for you is here and now!

Here is to the unknown future. I am large and in charge.


Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Me and My Big Fancy Degree...

One surefire way to get yourself blocked is to spout off in a text about how you would not live up to my standards and my "big fancy degree".  WTF!  Did I ever mention that I am better than you because I own my own business? NO!  Have a masters degree? No!  Own my own house? No!

I never once degraded you or made you feel less than me - and we had not even met.  YOU were the one who said these things and said would you even date someone with a learning disability plus you said you had one friend.  WOW!

Go get some self confidence and good luck out there.  I am thankful I found out before we met and/or slept together that you are one big sad red flag waiting to happen.

I am way less judgmental than my friends and / or family when it comes to looks or your job, your status, etc...    You fucked it all up when you could not handle that I had to work tonight instead of giving you (whom I had not met yet) my undivided attention when I  had told you that I am a busy mom that is getting caught up before a busy weekend and the holidays.  I told you we could not meet for 2 weeks.  You said you were patient and then quickly changed your tune and outlook on yourself.

When I said that what I did not like was the lack of self confidence/self-esteem (my opinion/observation) and that I did not say anything about your job, education, status  - you did - but you proceeded to tell me that you did not need a lecture and said "let me bow to your perfection".  DUDE you have ISSUES!

WARNING WARNING - and Block.  Next.....

Saturday, November 9, 2019

Lemonade out of Lemons... (Sugarfree!)

Last night I made Lemonade out of Lemons...   Sugarfree at that*!  I had a first date scheduled and apparently I was stood up.  The good part of it was that I had not even left my house yet... the bad part is that he owned a boat and I was really hoping to get to know him and get a few dates out of it!  I blocked him so that is not happening.

I had been face timing with him and chatting/texting with him a few times over the past few days.  All was good... or so I thought.  We spoke around 5 and he was starting to work on something for his boat...  I had told him I could meet him around 7:30 halfway between us.  At 7 he was still working on his boat... so I told him no worries. He told me he would text me when he was done.  Fast forward to 8 pm ish and I had not heard from him.  I texted asking if he was done/are we still meeting. He read this around 8:15 and started to reply as I could see the ... and then they disappeared!  Nice job Casper... No wonder you said you can't find anyone... So I wrote back and said I guess I am being stood up which is a shame as I had chosen him over two other offers!  (One I switched to a different day/time and the other offer came a few hours before I was stood up). 

Mind you - I was lying on the sofa, make-up all done, chilling out watching Flea Bag and thoroughly enjoying relaxing but still... I was ditched.  I was ditched and horny!  Yup, I said it.  Flea Bag is such an amazing show but it was getting hot and steamy and I was in need.  

Time to make Lemons... I texted my newer FWB/FF... and he happened on a rare Fri night not to be busy.  (He has a hobby that usually keeps him busy on most Friday nights).  I was totally willing to make the drive but he was amazing and drove to me.  I sprang into action to get the bedroom ready (I usually do not make my bed) and get into something way more comfortable.  30 minutes later the main ingredient needed to make lemonade appeared.    We did not waste time making a ton of Lemonade.... sugar free*.  (I found out he had been sitting watching TV wondering what I was doing)

*So why Sugar Free?  Simple... Sugar is something you get addicted to... he is not available for me to get addicted to right now.  He is not ready for a committed relationship.  We actually had that talk and if at some point he is, I do like him and would like to explore it if I am available to do so at the time.  If not...  I am taking him for what he is worth...  a seriously amazing FWB/FF that I am so comfortable with talking to or making Lemonade with.  

Three hours later... all of the lemons had been squeezed.


In other news......

...  The guy I was supposed to have a date with on Wed night cancelled on me again - strike 2.  First time he had to work and do a last minute proposal.  We spoke on the phone on his breaks - all good.  This past Wednesday he had a "family emergency".  I heard from him Thursday saying he still wanted to see / meet me. I replied "ok" (but not really ok) and I have yet to hear from him. Sad about this one as he was pretty handsome and we really had a lot of laughs on the phone.  NEXT!

...  SQUIRREL!   On my phone when I click on the blog link...  it shows as which is hillarious!  G spots are SO very important.

...  I had a coffee date with someone that found me on facebook (not the dating portion) which by the way blows...and not in the good way.  FB dating section needs WAY more info so we can be more selective and not have to ask a million questions of someone.  Back to the coffee..  He was nice and a gentleman...
(You know there is a BUTTTTT in here... he is so loud/abrasive/New Yorker). 
We will see as I have agreed to spend a little more time getting to know him, BUTTTTT I feel I will be trying to change him and shush him.  So if I do need to say goodbye to him (which I can see coming) I will let him know that I am not looking to change someone and I want him to quiet down more than he is capable of. LOL!  We shall see- I am giving him another date on Sunday afternoon.

... I have a date this afternoon with someone on the surface I really like. He is not my type (if I have one) but from our conversations.. I am intrigued.  We are meeting at a location TBD and apparently playing a tile game! So very funny!  Lets see how this goes.

... I have another date Sunday am for breakfast with someone I do not know all that well.  Should be interesting.

...I have been in conversation with someone that I am a bit wary of as he is from England.  He is here for work and goes back soon and is supposedly moving here with his two boys.  He is sweet but I am pretty distrusting of those with an accent from England/Europe/Denmark, etc.. based on the scammer from Denmark. (No worries... I am too smart for that).

Lots of action and several that have gone by the wayside.  I would love to find someone to be in a LTR with at some pt, esp with holidays approaching; however, I am just going to lessen my need to make lemonade with so many, enjoy my dates and maybe start to be a little more selective at some pt soon.  We will see.  

For now I am large and in charge with eyes wide open!

P.S.  I think I am in the mood for a tall glass of water with a side of Lemon!

Monday, November 4, 2019

Things that make you go hmmmmm

I have not written in a while as I have been busy with my child...   not to much happening on the dating front, except for this:

The guy I had met and been with the night after we had a 2 hr meeting/date at a park... I felt he was not really into me since he had been sick. I called him on it and questioned if he was still interested.  It was all I could do to keep from laughing louder than the chuckle I did... he blamed me for getting him sick.  He blamed us "fooling around" for him getting sick! BAHAHAHAAHA
He works in a "hospital" and he "never" gets sick.  Soooo funny!  I was not sick.  I was fine.  Soooo funny. I told him it was ridiculous but thanks for telling me via phone and not on a text.  Is he serious?  I am really not at all sad about this as he was not right for me.... his kissing was awful (his tongue never left the inside of my mouth) and his package was waaaaay too small for me.  I just cant help but thinking how funny that either he really does think I am to blame (I think he was so serious) or he is using this as an excuse (less likely given other factors).  I just can't!  

Someone I had chatted with from another site (site for those that are larger) decided that I was not "large" enough for him.  He ultimately had told me that it would not work out as I was not uninhibited enough for him and more or less not big enough for him.  Also a ROFL moment.  He then hopped a flight and messaged me at 11 pm Sat night telling me he wanted me to come to Miami so he could bang me!  ROFL x 2! Flattering or down right scary?   He sent me pics of the last person he was with and told me that was was way hotter.  When I say pics of her - let me tell you that it was her and her vagina in all it's glory! WTF!  When I said no - the next night he sent me a pic of some hoe he picked up with white hair sucking him off and how they wanted me to join them! 
I am not joking here.  ROFL and WTF combined into one big ass HELL NO from me!  That is an STD waiting to happen right there.  And  in case you are wondering - I am totally hotter than any of the women he has sent me pics of.

And then there is young Latin guy that keeps asking me for booty pics.  Nope. No.  Hard No.

In positive news... I ordered a new vibrator.  She is something pretty special with 10 different speeds for inside and 10 levels of suction. My review is stellar.

Finally - I have to tell you to go watch Flea Bag on Amazon Prime. I was told to watch it and OMG - I am in love I have only watched 2 episodes but I am hooked!  She is my hero...Her and Madge the Vag!

I have a few men I am meeting this week and maybe weekend... so I am sure there will be a lot more to blog.  I am Large and In Charge.  

Monday, October 28, 2019

Hey Baby... Hey Sweetie....

I am NOT your baby or your sweetie or your boo.  On one of the sites I chatted with one of the guys asked for my cell. He wanted to text.  That is cool.  He called (did not text) but the first thing he said was "Hey baby, how are you doing?" and I retorted with a laugh, "I am not your baby."  Click.  He hung up! LOL    Men or rather boys in this case, do not like being told to not call us baby or boo or sweetie or dear (that is the worst).  I quickly blocked him.  
Until you know me and until we are something, I am NOT your baby!  Next...

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Will power is overrated

This has been a most interesting week and a half.   The ghoster tried once again to get me to change my mind...  he did not succeed.  This was probably the only will power that was exerted this week in any capacity that resembles success.   

I did manage to meet someone at a park.  This was to make sure that I indeed exerted a modicum of control.  We mostly talked with a few sessions of sucking face.  Let me refrain that...  I was trying to kiss and he was pretty much not allowing me to breathe! LOL  That aside... I had to leave to get back to work after 2 1/2 hours!  I agreed to give him a massage late the next night but insisted that I had to behave.  He told me he would make sure of it.  I could trust him since I did not trust myself.  *sigh*  I held out until 1 am and after discussion of life being too short happened (this always gets me).  I clearly had no right to trust myself and apparently not him!  The kissing needs to be worked on but I can totally say that he is not a selfish person.  We had some intense sessions looking into one another's eyes.  We were supposed to have a date during the weekend but he ended up getting sick, which cleared the way for some serious fun.

I will skip the details of my Friday night date; however, I will say that being a chivalrous gentleman is amazing, except when it borders on oppressive and when you are selfish in bed. I love that a man wants to hold the door open for me, pull out my chair, open my car door, etc... but for the love of humanity, please allow me to open the car door and get out if I want to.  I am not one to sit and wait for the man to come around to open my car door when I am perfectly capable of opening the car and standing up.  As far as being selfish in bed...   things cannot always be equal but that is for a long term situation.  If you ever want to see the side of a second date, be kind and remember that being chivalrous also means allowing the woman to have her own pleasures that do not have anything to do with you.

I also will skip any details of Sat except to say that the person I was with has become a FWB for right now.  He had crazy mads skills at popping up multiple times during the night as well as crazy mad oral skills.  Many hours later....most comfortable fun I have had in a long time.  Not only that, but my knees and back allowed me to do positions that I love.  I am not really into vanilla man  on top sex and hope that anyone reading this is not either.  Some of the other positions are just way more intense.  

Today I had to visit his work as he is doing a sort of job for me and may I just say that I was not prepared for how the visit ended on a blanket in the back room of the office.  Totally not expected.  Totally hot.  Cue smile on my face all day!

I would say that this has been a successful weekend of adulting.  A lot of fun was had.  Resting took place.  No one was hurt. 

If it does not bring you income, inspiration or orgasms, it doesn't belong in your life!

I am Large and In Charge...