I want your sex..

And to quote George Michael "Sex is natural, sex is good...Not everybody does it...But everybody should...Sex is natural, sex is fun...Sex is best when it's, one on one...One on one"

Not all sex is good... in fact, there are times when you just want to go home and shower and brush your teeth.  The build up was good but alas when I stepped foot into Cook's apartment I felt like I was in a storage locker.  WTH... it was worse than my ex and that is a big feat to accomplish.  That certainly did not set the mood but alas this girl set out for an adventure and she was not a quitter.  The details of how we even ended up in his bed I will skip, but suffice to say the blue ropes were fun but it really was not all that. He certainly did not take the notes I had relayed to him about what I like.  If I am going to experiment with light S&M and do things I have not done before... there needs to be more to it than there was.  It just wasn't what I would consider a play atmosphere.  I trusted him just fine but could not get to where I needed to be orgasm wise with the clutter and dogs on the other side of the door to the small cramped apartment.  He was not seductive and was very mechanical and sweaty.  The final straw for me was the kissing.  I felt like a big wet erect fish was jabbing itself into my mouth and sloshing around aimlessly.  Just gross.
Within minutes of my arrival home I could not wait to shower and brush my teeth.  He has been messaging me and wants to get together... I will not ghost him but trying to find just the right words to say NO Nope No way!  UPDATE:  Easy Peasy to say adios as he was pressing me to go to a concert with him and when I told him that I had my son that night...  he did not believe me (I know my sons schedule with me for months out) and then he pressed me if I wanted to see him again and posted a crickets meme after he texted me - perfect way to say thanks but your text just gave me the answer and it's been nice but no I do not wish now to see you again.  SEND.  BLOCK! Whew... relief and peace of mind.

Updates:  The nice Jewish guy turns out had some medical issues.  Still is sick.  He might be a maybe.  The fireman is still chatting but I let him know that the bench I have been seated on is expiring and we need to meet soon - there is something about him that I am drawn to and I am not ready to extinguish the flame until I have seen him again, hugged, kissed and had more.  I have a feeling the heat between us will be intense.  

I have plans to see Southern Gentleman again soon, in fact really soon to celebrate the new year!  (Update:  I did see him and in fact we did celebrate for just a few hours as that is the time we had. He actually for the first time noticed the scars and asked me about them.. (Surgery from a lift I had after I lot a lot of weight and my boobs deflated into thin hanging blobs).  He really celebrated as he broke his cardinal rule of ladies first (pleasure).  It was actually totally fine with me as I was enjoying it.  Although I am pretty insatiable and I think about orgasms probably about as much as men think about sex... I do not always need t have an orgasm.. (not that it hurts).  We actually spent about an hour after just kidding, hugging, talking.  I am darn sure that next time it will be all about me  - LOL!  I told him rules were meant to be broken but please be sure to follow his rule next time...  

I met another FWB guy and he is a possibility but has had the flu.  He is pretty cute actually!  I have also been chatting with a 60 yr old who looks like Pharrell Williams in his pics.  I had told him I was looking for someone older and he said "what you don't think I can keep up?"  Good answer Pharrell.  He wants as well to have some fun and if nothing else be friends. That I can do!  I will meet him for coffee this week as he will be having some surgery soon and will be out of commission for a bit.  There is certainly no lack of interesting men out there... 

Today as I was watching some comedy and icing my back... I decided that I need to turn this material into a stand up routine. That is a must. I must I must increase my... presence.

Large and In Charge signing off.

Truly a Numbers Game AKA and then there were three...

Dating is TRULY a number game for both sexes.  The more you chat with / meet... the better your chances are to get lucky, have fun, date, go out or find "the one" for a LTR - whatever you are after.

One night this week, I met Latin Lover for coffee.  We already knew we had a lot in common and were hitting it off, so coffee was a bonus.  We talked there for 2 hours and then at closing moved to the car. We stood outside against the car kissing and talking for 45 minutes.  I kid you not!  He was HOT HOT HOT.  Latin Lover is 11 years my junior.  When I was dishing this fun night to mi madre...  I left out the details that came next...   I took him home!  Yup it was seriously just hot between us and there was absolutely no waiting.  He did not pressure me in any way but the feeling was mutual between us. Pure adult fun with a bonus shower.  (UPDATE...today he told me that he reconnected with someone from 3 years ago...  so he was pretty much a hit it and quit it.  But AT LEAST he told me and told me I was pretty and great and what happened was unexpected, blah blah.  I am not sorry I did it - he was super hot. I am a little sad as I wanted more of him! But there will be more and maybe better yet!)

What is super interesting here is that I am not small.  I have fat pretty much everywhere yet it just did not matter.  I am learning to be comfortable in my skin and with my fat as I navigate towards losing weight... because hell, this girl just wants to have fun! (Singing Cyndi Lauper as I type this)

So fast forward to not so fun Friday...  I was stood up in the morning by a seriously HOT Nurse as he "overslept" as he "worked late"... No second chances. He did not even call! He texted his apology and that he overslept and that I was important... blah blah.  I made the time in my work day, I set alarms and I got maybe 4.5 hours of sleep.... I was there to meet him ON TIME!  I hope I never need to have surgery in his OR...

Later Fri night I had a date with Southern Gentleman... I asked him out so I paid for dinner.  It was nice although the few times I tried to be intimate publicly he did not seem into it. So I refrained. People are silly that way... I was just trying to hold his hand... When we left he did not look so good and once we got home he looked worse. He ended up leaving as he was in pain and did not feel good inside.  I did hear from him today and he still wants to see me and make it up to me - so that is good.  But alas I did not have a lucky Friday at all!  I did finally get some much needed sleep.  Always a positive.

Today I was to meet one more for coffee but did not. After being stood up, I texted to confirm... he read it and never replied back. Nope. Not doing THAT again. NEXT...  Sorry mi madre... no "nice Jewish boy" on this go around.  he is not so nice after all.

I am chatting with a new person. He seems pretty funny. For now I will call him Cook.  He does something in the tech field and is also a cook.  We shall see....

Men, men and more men - its all in the numbers. I do not feel I am doing too bad considering it has been only a month that I have been navigating the minefield called men.  

Tonight its all about my friend and celebrating her. Until my next adventure...
Large and In Charge!

So many men... It's a numbers game... Update to Mrs Robinson

Lets start with an update...   Mrs Robinson did NOT happen. I met Pizza Boy and lets just say NO!  He was super shy and freakishly awkward...not at all like the persona from his texting.  I feel bad for him and maybe he needs a Mrs. Robinson to teach him and guide him, but that is not me.  I considered it but ultimately decided I did not want to be his "guardian angel of sex"!  Just the nature of a "younger" man and the conversations I have had with my friends... well he would not need a blue pill... he would outlast your stamina,  he might "cum" before you even touch him but at least he would be able to get hard again and keep going..  Yeah - these conversations happened!  

In addition to Pizza Boy not happening..  the 36 year old I was talking to (or was he 38... I lost track!) wanted to see me/meet me/pleasure me but I said no. I had come back after a late night with friends and he tried so "hard" bless his heart. I told him I could meet him the next day... but alas no...  So long Casper....  There have been a few others I was chatting with as well and they just simply disappear - all in time for them to be a ghost for Halloween.  I am totally ok with all of these...  it was time for them to disappear ....

It truly is a numbers game!  How many can you talk to on so many sites to make sure you meet a few good men!  We know the men do this with the ladies.

Which brings us to the present and my current balancing act.  I have a meeting date tonight ... Friday night a 3rd date with Southern Gentleman... and Sat another coffee date meeting.  There is a 4th one I need to find time to meet as well. Craziness but oh so much fun!  The one I am meeting tonight is the one I seem to have the most in common with.  If anything goes beyond coffee (not tonight of course) I will dub him Latin Lover.  The one for coffee Sat I will call Nice Jewish Man (NJM).  The one I have yet to meet.... well he is already nicknamed in my head as Sexy Scrub Nurse!

I am having fun making up for the past 8+ years.... 

Gotta run and get some work done before my Boudoir Photo shoot. 
I am Large and In Charge Ladies!

Mrs Robinson

I think I may have officially crossed the twilight zone into Mrs Robinson.  (Just in case I have a younger reader...  Mrs. Robinson is a term used to describe an older woman pursuing someone younger than herself, in reference to the character from the 1967 movie The Graduate.)

I am chatting now with not only a 36 year old (I have yet to decide on his nickname) but... don't judge me.... a 27 year old.  YIKES!  I know...  I am trying NOT to think about his age since my friends have kids this age and older... although our text conversation certainly does not indicate in any way he is 27.  That said - the fact that he has graduated college and is a manager at a fast food restaurant of sorts (lets call him Pizza Boy) does not help matters.

I will meet him tomorrow for coffee and we will go from there. I can tell you that coffee with Pizza Boy is going to be super odd based on the hot steamy sexting ;)  I did ask him why he was wanting to be with and provide stress relief to an older woman and the answer I got was that girls his age were "trashy", looking for "pot" and "money".  

I am feeling a bit "trashy" myself right now - but only because I need a cold shower!  I am not ashamed to say I am having fun being an empowered safe slut sowing her oats after a marriage that was awful * and a divorce that was way worse!   I am not looking for a LTR with Pizza Boy- only some fun  - and why not. LTFS!     Feeling Large and In Charge ... 
Here's to you Mrs Robinson!

*The best thing to come from my last marriage was my amazing son.

Update to FWB..or not

Last week I met the guy that wanted to be a FWB for coffee.  He finally agreed to meet me and it was super akward... for him anyway. I felt bad for him as he seemed not only uncomfortable with us meeting but he was in pain.  The conversation was actually quite interesting I must say.   I suggested some ice and a few other ideas having just gone thru the rib pain as well as occasional back pain.  We started and ended with a hug.  I checked on him and his pain a few times and he asked if I was still interested in an occasional FWB to which I said yes.  Crickets....  And another one bites the dust.  Although I know based on his insane texts that it would have been so much fun to play... it is totally ok we are not.  What he needs at this time of his life is an ice pack and a cold stiff drink!  His loss and my gain...space for another person to chat with!

Sex... I mean Six Random Thoughts

A few updates and Random Thoughts ....

1) I was chatting with someone via text and twice he asked me Whats for Lunch/If I had lunch. Each time was at a non lunch time.  The guy from Denmark who tried to scam me did this too. RED FREAKING FLAG people.... Asking about lunch is code for I will try to scam you in my book.  I am not sure if it really was or not - but I am too creeped out to find out. I told him good luck and I could not chat further with him - he did not understand but I blocked him every which way.  My intuition told me to run far and fast!

2) If there is a will there is a way - be flexible people!  I try and fit the men in, even for a coffee, when I have even an hour.  I have been told be men and women alike - it is a numbers game. I am really bad at "numbers" but meeting people super simple.  Men (especially ones I am not married to) are most fascinating creatures!

3)  Asking me for a full length picture (after I told you I was full figured)... yeah - no - I have none of those. So I had one and it was with 2 friends. I sent it to someone and blocked out friends faces.  He asked me who the tall one was in the middle.  Yeah - so clearly you cannot handle a woman that is Large and in Charge.  News Flash BTW - It is so true what they say about FFJW... I am darn good and my large parts simply do not matter or get in the way of my abilities, talents or desire! NEXT!

4)  I am insatiable right now.  Ever since I had a taste of the Multiple MBO this summer - I want them more.  My motivation to play the numbers game... albeit safely.  I know a few of my friends who say the same thing.  I am NOT alone!

5) Girlfriends are ALWAYS there for you - I will not sell out my time with the Ladies just to have MMBO.  So men had better make the time when I am available or they will be stuck simply texting eggplants and taco emojis for a long time.

6) When I posted about D-pics and V-pics...I neglected to talk about N-pics. Apparently men love a good nipple pic.  My nipple? Really? I would think you'd want the whole pic with tit and nip but either way - NO.  Wait and see....

I think that is all for my random thoughts right now.  Until later.  Scarlet signing off as Large and In Charge!

Pre-Hurricane Bliss... with a true Gentleman

OK, so I may not be able to experience MBO* and Hurricane Sex; however, pre-storm bliss certainly did happen a few days ago.  We had a second "meeting" and it was awesome!  We were slated to go out but never ended up leaving... The conversation was interesting and then I felt like I was back in high school with our make-out session... except we were not stopped by the mere fact that at any moment his mom would walk in and find us engaged in a full on "french kiss and feeling each other up fest." (Not that this happened say 24 years ago or anything....)  This went far beyond the kissing and feeling fest to three hours of pure bliss.  It was seriously awesome!  He is a most interesting person and was most interested in being a "giver".  I would say the MBO I had were just divine.  And I certainly lived up to the stereotypes out there for ladies like me.  For the 5 hours we were together, I never once gave the storm a thought other than to think that at least I am having this experience despite not having a partner for the storm.   In the here and now, there is this and THIS is bliss.

I know he continues to look on line as do I.  We are both simply dating and enjoying meeting different people without an expectation of a LTR, but I for one cannot wait to be with him again to explore more and from what he said, the feeling is mutual.  I told him I would not blog about him, but he gave me permission so long as I protected his identity.   I will refer to him as Mr. True Southern Gentleman... which holds true for one side of him.. as the other side is raw and real.  Until then....

*MBO = Mind-Blowing Orgasms